A Booty Call is an unplanned sexual encounter between two people, usually occurring as the result of a simple phone call. It is casual sex at it's finest, with someone you know, but have no feelings for.
The ever-reliable Wikipedia has this to say about the history of the Booty Call.
"The phrase is thought to have originated in a comedic routine by stand-up comedian Bill Bellamy in the early 1990's. However, the widespread, conscious awareness of the term originated with BLACKstreet's debut hit single "Booti Call" in 1994, and it was further popularised when musician Fast Eddie's 1995 dance song "Booty Call" received wide airplay in certain regions of America. As such, the term was originally generally associated with black males, but it is now used by and about persons of either gender, and any ethnicity, requesting sexual favours by calling an acquaintance that may or may not be romantically linked to the caller.
Although traditionally the telephone is used for a booty call, the last ten years have seen the rise of IM, chat, Email, and text message booty calling. Dating websites have also created a forum for an online booty call.
The term has since evolved to refer somebody towards the other party within a relationship, e.g. "She's my booty call.""
Below are the rules, regulations and standard etiquette relating to this encounter.
1. The first rule of thumb is to make sure you use protection. Condoms protect you from all sorts of STD's, as well as preventing unwanted pregnancies. If you can imagine yourself having a child with your Booty Call, then you do not need to waste any more time reading the rest this article. You are not looking for a Booty Call, you are looking for a relationship. There is no place for pregnancy, STD's or stupidity in a Booty Call. It is just safe, casual sex.
2. You should never fall in love with a Booty Call. Once this happens, it moves on to being a relationship. If this happens, and it is what you want, then that is fine, but remember why you arranged a Booty Call in the first place. If a relationship can not develop from all that sex before, what makes now any different? If you or the other person start to develop emotional feelings, GET OUT. There is no room for emotions in a Booty Call.
3. No emotional conversations should be had with a Booty Call. None of that "Where are we headed?" or "Do you love me?" crap. It is just sex. Good, hard sex. See above.
4. It is preferable that you never be seen in public with your Booty Call. However, if it is necessary, for example, drinks before the evenings entertainments, then make sure you meet at a suitable place. You should NEVER arrive together, as people will view you as being in a relationship. You should also never partake in any recreational activities with your Booty Call. After all, what have you got to talk about?
5. If someone should ask who your "Date" is, you should reply with the standard, "It's not a date, he/she is my room-mates/brothers/sisters, girlfriend / boyfriend," etc.
6. Where possible, you should avoid meeting too many of your Booty Calls friends, especially their oldest/dearest/closest ones. Siblings should be avoided at all cost, and NEVER, and I mean NEVER, meet the parents.
7. Little money, if any, should be spent on a Booty Call. That is best left to the romantics. However, if you do find you need to spend money, for example, on drinks, make sure it is no more than the equivalent of buying three drinks and a kebab. However, if it is necessary to get a taxi back to the safety of your home after the act, no expense should be spared.
8. Sleeping over is a general no-no with a Booty Call. You should get laid, get dressed, get out. However, sometimes this is not appropriate, for example, if it was so good you require a repeat performance in the morning. If this is the case, there should be no cuddling, spooning, or other such romantic actions. You are only there for sex. If you don't like it, get your ass on home.
9. Booty Calls should not be made before 9pm, preferably later. Family and friends call early. Also, there should be no forward planning for a Booty Call. It is a spur of the moment phone call, made during the ride home. If they can't make it, pick up your book and settle down for a quiet evening. However, if they are from out of town, and it is necessary to plan ahead, then it's a one-time advanced agreement.
10. There should never be more than three Booty Calls a month. More than this edges it close to being a relationship. You should also expect nothing from a Booty Call. If they stop answering/calling, do not be offended, it is just casual sex.
11. Remaining unreliable is the fortay of the Booty Call. If you say you are going to turn up/call in 15 minutes, do it in 45. If questioned, be vague. After all, it is not a relationship.
12. No excess clothing or unnecessary items should be taken to a Booty Call. There is a risk that something will be left behind, which is stepping dangerously close to relationship territory.
13. Never refer to the act as "making love." This is for relationships. It is good, hard sex, nothing more. And while on the subject, do not refer to yourselves as "friends with benefits," or "friends with privileges." You are Fuck Buddies. Also, there will be no "baby" or "honey" talk. However, dirty talk is permitted.
14. When with a Booty Call, you should never ask about the other persons previous relationships, or ask for a comparison with former lovers. Nobody cares. It is sex. During the time you are performing, you are all that matters.
15. A Booty Call is the only time you do not need to worry about how it was for the other person. The idea of a Booty Call is so you can focus on YOUR pleasures. Do not be offended if a Booty Call does not ask if you enjoyed it. If you are both of the same mind, it will have been satisfactory. However, if you find that your BC is not satisfactory, cross them off the list. There is no point going to the trouble of a Booty Call if you are left unsatisfied.
16. Although it is not a date, and should never be considered so, you should still make an effort for your Booty Call. You do not need to go over the top, but you should at least put on some clean clothes and deodorant. Girls, you should do your hair, and put on your every day make up. No one wants to sleep with someone who looks, and smells, like they have just come out of the sewers.
17. Any music played during and after sex should not contain any mention of love. Meatloaf should be avoided, as should Peter Gabriel. In fact, it may be best to stick to R 'n' B. Nothing says "Booty Call" like a full grown man singing about his "Hoe's."
18. The preferred position for a Booty Call is Doggie Style. The less eye contact, the better. It is also okay to call out the wrong name during sex. Neither party should take offence, it is natural mistake, and as I have said, it is JUST sex.
19. There should be no kissing on the lips. It is too personal. And besides, if a person is prepared to give oral sex to someone on a first date, God only knows what else they have been doing with that mouth. While on the subject of oral sex, a Booty Call is not allowed to demand anything, and as it is just a form of release, you should not be pressured into doing anything you do not wish to do. You are there for YOUR pleasure, not theirs.
20. Last, but not least, you should never ask your Booty Call if you can borrow their car, phone, cash etc. If you can't make it their, or vice versa, then call it off for today. Also, it is inappropriate for either party to be using their mobile phone at any point while they are together. It should be switched off, or at least put on silence. Nobody wants to be disturbed by someone looking for your sorry ass.
So. There we have it. If you follow these regulations, there is no reason why you can not have a successful Booty Call or two.
If, however, you are aiming to have no-strings fun, but are not sure the other person will be able to hold up their end of the bargain, I have posted the "Booty Call Agreement 2009." Feel free to print it off, and have them read and sign it.
Have fun.
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