Booty Call Agreement 2009

The Booty Call Agreement 2009

The following contract outlines the rules and regulations of the Booty Call.

These rules are subject to change by the contract holder (me) ONLY. Should the other party (you) attempt to change or alter any terms of the agreement, it will automatically become void. They will then be removed from the Booty Call List, and deleted from phone memory and email lists.

In other words, the other party (you) will be blocked from all communications and sexual positions until your sorry ass understands the rules.

1. Protection comes first. No condom, no bitching. Get your ass on home.

2. No sleeping over. Unless it was very good and a repeat performance is required in the morning.

3. Calls should never be earlier than 9pm. Friends and family call early.

4. No meeting in public, and no recreational activities, except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

5. If we must be seen in public, we are not to arrive together, and if anyone asks who I am, the standard response should be “my mates’ boyfriend / girlfriend.”

6. No plans are to be made in advance, unless you are from out of town, then it’s a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. No extra clothing or unnecessary items are to be brought with you. There is a risk of something being left behind, which is stepping dangerously close to relationship territory.

8. There will be none of that “making love” crap. It is sex. Good, hard SEX.

9. There is to be no “baby” or “honey” talk. This is for couples. However, dirty talk is encouraged.

10. There will be no calling each other “friends with privileges,” or “friends with benefits.” We are not friends, just fuck buddies.

11. If you feel the need for alcohol, bring your own. I am not a liquor store. But you had better not turn up drunk.

12. Use of your mobile phone is strictly banned. I do not want anyone calling looking for you.

13. Calling out the wrong name during sex is okay. Don’t be offended. I won’t be.

14. Doggie style is the preferred position. The less eye contact, the better.

15. No kissing on the lips. If you’ll eat me on the first date, Lord knows what else you do with that mouth.

16. No emotional discussions will be permitted, such as “Do you love me?” or “Where are we headed?” The answer is no, so don’t ask.

17. No asking about former lovers and their performances. You do not need to know. And who cares? It’s sex!

18. No falling asleep after the act. It is over, so get up, get dressed, and get your ass home.

19. No snuggling, spooning, or other romantic gestures after sex. There is no room for romance in a booty cal.

20. Don’t be offended if I don’t ask if you enjoyed it. I don’t care.

21. There is to be no more than three Booty Calls a month. It is not a relationship.

22. Any Booty Call will be terminated at the first sign of emotion. There is no place for emotion in a Booty Call.

We, the under-signed, agree to adhere to the above rules, and understand that any attempts to change the rules, other than by the holder of the contract, will result in the contract being void.

Print name (holder of contract) ___________________________

Signed (holder of contract) ______________________________

Date: ______________

Print name (second person) _____________________________

Signed (second person) ________________________________

Date: ______________